Chuck vsThe 'burbia
by Lust.Is.Evanescent
Summary: Casey Sarah The 'burbs, really bad combination, bad bad combo
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I've never written a Chuck fanfiction, this is my first so forgive me if it's a little off, I promise it gets better

**Disclaimer****: **I do NOT own CHUCK damn it, if I did I wouldn't be writing ff

**CHAPTER 1**

It was a normal day at the BuyMore, Morgan was off somewhere staring into a dishwasher, Jeff and Lester were in all likelihood in the break room scheming on ways to get Anna to show them her panties while she still had them on and Chuck was sitting at the Nerd Herd reception table, hand under his chin staring off into space and counting for the fourth time that morning the home theatres, T.V's and ovens, he was just about to get started on the toasters when Big Mike's voice boomed from his doorway

"Bartowski!" Chuck's head snapped up in the direction of Big Mike's door

"Sir"

"Get in here..." a few seconds later Chuck was in his office and receiving information on his next install

"...a lady just called, said she needs her Linux OS upgraded, you're going"

"But sir..."

"Is that a refusal I sense Bartowski?"

"...no sir, it's just that I've been going on installs since last week and I've cleared my logs, this week is supposed to be Jeff's week, so I was wondering maybe he could go"

"Bartowski, have I ever told you how I came to work at the BuyMore?"

"Yes sir" _a lot_

"And how long have I worked here at the BuyMore?"

"A long time sir" Chuck could already see where this conversation was going but it was too late, he had to let Big Mike finish

"And in all this time have I ever, EVER sent either Jeff or Lester out on home install, ever?"

"No sir"

"Exactly, so stop talking and go do your job"

"Yes sir" he left Big Mike's office but not before Lester and Jeff turned away from eaves dropping, realizing they were caught, they just stood there and stared at Chuck until he spoke

"What?"

"Tough luck man"

"Yeah real tough"

"Guess we'll be seeing you in the slammer hammer"

"Yeah slammer hammer"

"Huh?" Chuck said

"Slammer hammer, you know workin'"

"Yeah workin'" Lester turned to Jeff

"Jefferson you don't have to repeat everything i say"

"Uh...ok? What do I say then?"

"I don't know, think of something, don't you have a brain" by now Chuck was walking away but they both didn't notice

"My mom always said beer was better than brains" Chuck heard the last part of Jeff's reply and smiled to himself, he got into his Nerdherder and drove the 15 minute drive to the address on his clipboard, when he got there he pressed the door bell and a man of about 45 opened the door, he was putting on a black turtle neck long sleeved shirt rolled up to his elbow, dark grey slacks and plain black shoes and he looked very intimidating and imposing, immediately Chuck set eyes on him he flashed.

...SC...CS...

He got back in one piece but was still jittery from the flash he had, he walked across the road to the OrangeOrange to go see Sarah, she had a long line of customers so he had to wait, while he was waiting, he texted Casey

*OO, the yoghurt is RED, FLASHING, SCREAMING, BLEEDING RED

P.S could you tell Morgan beef'n'gravy, he'll understand

Thanks, C*

he knew Casey'd berate him for the text, he'd already told Chuck if he needed to tell him something, to call but hey Chuck had to wait for Sarah to be done and had so much time to kill. After he sent the text he saw Casey leave the BuyMore and head over to the OrangeOrange, a few seconds later he was sitting across from him and screaming murder with his eyes

"Afternoon Casey..." he didn't answer, he just stared

"...how are you, good?"

"Why'd you do it?..."

"Hmm?"

"...the txt why'd you send it?" now Chuck was frantically praying Sarah's customers would leave because even though Casey wasn't allowed to kill him he was however free to break a few limbs, after all he only needed his eyes to flash

"I..."

"...and the P.S, why in God's name would I talk to that hobbit sized furry creature you call a friend?"

"...uh..." just then Sarah called them from behind the counter

"Chuck, Casey come on"

"This isn't over Bartowski"

General Beckman was on screen 10 minutes later confirming the identity of the man Chuck flashed on, Ivan Hatuchovich, a Ukrainian arms dealer who dealt in modified and upgraded weaponry, at the mention and sight of said weapons Casey's attention was at full alert, the general continued

"Mr Ivan has been underground for a long time, we had him under surveillance but lost him 5 years ago, the fact that he is out now means something big is about to go down, Mr Bartowski, you say he's living in the 'burbs?..."

"Yes ma'am"

"...then this shouldn't be too hard..." she said more to herself than anyone else in the room

"...o.k. then we'll need eyes and ears on the inside, people who'll get close to the Hatuchovich's and try to find their contacts, this assignment may go on for a very long time, deep cover, so you all understand what's at stake"

"Yes ma'am" they all responded, and then Chuck said

"Ma'am seeing as I and Sarah will be..." she cut him off

"Oh no Mr Bartowski, you won't be accompanying Agent Walker as her companion this time..." at the sight of Chuck's fallen face Casey smirked

"...you've already made contact with them as the repair man, no, Agent Walker and Major Casey will be going on this assignment"

"WHAT?" Sarah and Casey said together.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** There were 3 reviews on the chapter 1 within a few hours, thanks guys, so I decided to post the chapter 2….hope you like.

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN CHUCK, I think the readers know that already….

**CHAPTER 2**

It had been 3 weeks since General Beckman had briefed them on their assignment, and in the 3 weeks they had made up a cover story encompassing their whole fake new lives, as far as their neighbors were concerned, they were Arnold and Emma Raney, they met at a diner and got married a year after their first date, he was a building contractor and she was a kindergarten teacher, they just got married 6 months ago and so didn't have kids yet, he was from Michigan, had 2 brothers and both his parents were dead while she was from Seattle, had a brother and a sister and both her parents were alive, the details of how he proposed to her was not something either of them wanted to linger much on, it was too fluffy and filled with poof and clouds.

Now in the present, they were in a typical suburban environment with all the houses and lawns looking painfully manicured, white picket fences, kids and dogs roaming up and down the street, it was time to meet the neighbors so they both left their house, her in a pastel yellow, knee-length sleeveless dress and him in a black button down, black jeans and sandals, they were ordered to look coupl-y so they were both in each other's spaces. The first house they went to was their next door neighbor, the Watsons, they didn't look threatening to Sarah from the many surveillance photos she and Casey had seen but as they both knew, looks could be very deceptive, she knocked twice and they were greeted by a woman who looked like she'd had one face lift too many

"Good afternoon" Sarah greeted all smiles

"Yes, can I help you?.."

"We're your next door neighbors..." the woman's face immediately relaxed, at least Sarah thought it did, with the way her face was stretched taut it was hard to tell

"...oh my Arnold and Emma, right"

"...that's us"

"...hi..." she extended her hand for a handshake which Casey accepted

"...I'm Emily, come in please"

"No thank you, we were just over for introductions, we still have the whole neighborhood to go" Casey said

"Why you poor things...you know what, how about you guys come over to my place 7'o'clock this evening, I'm hosting this weeks' poker night and y'all are invited"

"Thank you but we couldn't possibly..."

"...you can and you most certainly will"

"...are you sure, we wouldn't want to intrude" Sarah piped in

"No darlings you could never, Janice always makes way too much food so there's no question of shortage, you'll love her"

"Thank you Emily" Casey said

"Just call me Em big guy"

"Thanks Em" and with that they waved goodbye and turned to leave while Emily shut the door already planning on calling Julie and Madison and telling them about Arnold and Emma, she wasn't gossiping, she was just making early introductions besides she really had to tell them before hand about the rock on Emma's finger. Meanwhile outside, Casey and Sarah were walking to their new home

"That went well don't you think?" Sarah said and Casey nodded approvingly, his head lowered

"Casey..." no answer "...Casey!"

"What?"

"...you wouldn't mind talking would you, I mean we are supposed to be married so communication you know verbal AND physical contact shouldn't be too hard for us, we have people looking at us and I want to look believable enough to fool them, got it?" he looked at her like she just spoke in Mandarin, not that he wouldn't understand, but she was right he really didn't talk much and this assignment required maximum talking and ugh socializing...eh he'd try

"Got it"

"So, let's try it again, that went well don't you think?"

"Yeah I guess so"

"Better" she was about to close the door when they heard an annoying high pitched 'hi' from behind the door

"Hiiii" a woman with curly short red hair over dressed in a black and grey pant suit and heavy make-up was outside their door, Casey was already half way up the stairs and since Sarah's hand was already on the doorknob she pulled the door open for her

"Uh...hi"

"Hi darling...my name's Julie, Julie Campbell, I live 4 houses down from you guys"

"Oh, I'm Emma and this..." she was going to point at Casey but realized he wasn't there"...but he was just here"

"Who?"

"My husband Arnold"

"Well, I just baked this pie and decided you should have it, a welcome gift" she said handing the still warm pie over

"Thank you"

"You're welcome, I have to go now I just came over to welcome you to the neighborhood, see you at Em's place, say hi to your hubby for me"

"Yeah ok, bye"

"Bye" the pie was sitting on a table by the door that had a gun taped to the underside, it was strawberry, her favorite, she could get used to this.

...S.C...C.S...S.C...C.S

7'o'clock came almost too quick for both Sarah and Casey because they had spent all afternoon setting up their comms unit and now they had to get ready for their first outing in the neighborhood as a couple, they were both dressed in dark colors, her in a dark grey knee length gown with a black bow at the waist and he in a black button down shirt and indigo blue jeans, the only things with noticeable colors were their shoes, his was a brown pair of sandals and hers were ash flats, the walk to Emily's was silent but when they got to her front door, they moved a bit closer together and Casey put his arm around her waist so when Emily opened the door, they looked like a picture of sheer marital perfection and bliss

"Emma, Arnie...I can call you that right?..." _Arnie, really Arnold wasn't bad enough_

"Yeah that's ok"

"...come on in..." they walked into a big living room with a lot of people"...everyone, everyone...hey meet the new guys on the block Arnold and Emma Raney"

"Hey everyone..." Sarah said waving but Casey was checking out the profiles of the various people in the room on his phone

"...Ar honey, say hi" she lightly hit him on his arm to force his attention away from his phone

"Hi everyone, sorry work"

"I'm sorry, really, his phone's his weakness" they all laughed and fell into comfortable conversation, an hour into dinner, after the poker game, the real conversation started, Janice a former stockbroker and Dionne, a former pre-school teacher started with the heavy questions

"So Emma, how long you guys been married?" Janice asked

"6 months and a few days"

"Ah I see, so newlyweds" Sarah laughed lightly

"Relatively" then Dionne piped in

"So Arnie, tell us, how'd you guys meet?..."

"It's not that great"

"...oooh? Now I really want to know"

"Come on honey tell them"

"O.k., this is so embarrassing, it was at a diner, I was...checking her out..." the women at the table laughed a little

"...yeah laugh all you want but I refuse to be blamed, she was smokin' hot, still is, and I really wanted to stop before she caught me staring but I just couldn't then when she did turn she caught me staring but she did a surprising thing, she just smiled at me, winked and walked out with her order, I cursed myself for not asking her name so I continued going to that same diner with the hopes of seeing her, a few weeks went by but I didn't see her, one day when I was done waiting for the day I walked out the door without looking where I was going and yes I was holding a cup of coffee, and I bumped into someone and spilled it, I quickly apologized and looked behind me to see her laughing at me because I got coffee on my pants, her laughter was infectious and I started laughing too, I walked up to her and introduced myself and now we're married"

"Arnie you naughty boy..." Julie said and then laughed loudly

"Right..right" Sarah said smiling, leaning even closer into Casey's side and laying her head on his shoulder letting her eyes drift shut

"Well that was a hell of a story" this was all getting too much Casey could play nice and be the husband, but to stay in the same room with men who looked like oranges with lips and women who looked so made up, they would probably melt in the sunlight, was something no one should have to endure, least of all him and besides Ivan and his wife were playing everything too close, it was time to go

"O.k., it's getting late and I have an 8'o' clock appointment at a site tomorrow..."

"Aww Arnie do you really have to go, can't you stay longer?"Addison asked

"Nah, maybe next time, Em's already sleepy and believe me you don't want to see her sleep deprived" Sarah wasn't really sleeping but it was part of their cover, they both agreed that when either one of them noticed the conversation was going nowhere they used the 'oh-she/he-is-feeling-sleepy' exit

"Em..." he lightly tapped her on her arm

"...Em babe, wake up"

"What...huh?"

"Come on it's time to go"

"Oh, ok, thanks everyone for a great time, really sorry I slept off, been a bit tired lately"

"That's alright..." Julian Janice's husband said "...please take some pies along with you' it's the least we could do"

"Thank you"

"You're welcome"

They were outside when Casey broke the silence

"That was horrible, really soul wrenchingly terrible"

"You know Casey, I know we don't agree on most things but on that topic I think I do agree with you, even listening to Chuck and Morgan argue about Halo and Avatar's better than that"

"Hey now let's not get crazy here I just got mentally tortured I don't wanna have to tear out my ears" they both sighed

"More than a month of this huh?"

"Better get used to it Mrs Emma Raney"

"You too Mr Arnold 'Arnie' Raney"

"Touché Walker"

"I practiced with the best".

**A/N:** Was it as good as you thought, the chapter 3 is getting its finishing touches, I'll try to post it ASAP.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN**: This is coming in a bit late...but well better late than never :D, here's the 3rd chapter...enjoy

Chapter 3

2 weeks...it had been 2 weeks since they'd moved into this soul snatching, joy stealing neighborhood and had been playing Mr and Mrs Raney and they still had nothing on Ivan, Sarah had spent the better part of last week trying to warm her way into the women's 'elite' clique but the age difference between her and most of the ladies in the clique was a bit of a hinderance as most of the ladies had at least 8 years over her and they saw her as a daughter or a really younger sister, the only one who was closer to her in age was Tatiana, Ivan's wife and really that was who mattered the most since she was the wife of their mark, today had blessedly presented her with an opportunity to form that bond of friendship with Tatiana as all the ladies including herself had made plans to have a 'girls day out' and leave the men at home which was a big plus since Casey could also work on Ivan while she worked on Tatiana.

The time was 4:30am and she was up already, she could tell Casey had been up for a while by the smell of freshly made coffee coming from the kitchen, since their forced cohabitation she'd been pleasantly surprised to realize that Casey was actually a more accommodating housemate than she could have guessed, he had taken the room opposite hers leaving her with the more furnished room with the bigger bed, he got up earlier than she did, 4am, and even though he wasn't obligated to make coffee or breakfast for them both, he still did it anyway, she actually expected him to make a list of who got to do what around the house, instead he did most of the chores while she finished the least troublesome ones, he grumbled less and smiled more, she thought going to the grocery store and having a chance to clear his head from all this suburban madness had something to do with it, frankly speaking it made him look younger, on the cover front he was supposed to be the world's most adoring husband, he opened doors for her, went grocery shopping, complimented her at every chance he got, even in front of everyone.

She got up and went for her morning run, it was already 6am when she got back, she checked upstairs for Casey and noticed his bed was already made so she knew he was somewhere in the house, she took off her running gear and then she heard a faint knock at the front door, Casey's head popped out fron their makeshift command center

"Who's there?" He whispered

"I'm about to find out" she answered, pulling on the closest thing her hand could reach and retrieving her gun from the velcro stap under the reading table, Casey noticed her signalling him to walk quietly behind her, his gun already in hand, whoever it was knocking at that time certainly wasn't good company, they cautiously walked and stood on either side of the door, Casey carefully looked through the opening at the top of the door and he saw the little red head, Mrs Aubry Corn, the creepy lady that had been trying to get them to invite her into their home. He visibly relaxed and signalled to Sarah that the person at the door posed no threat, just as he was about to open the door, Sarah looked down at what exactly she had pulled on, it was one of Casey's black t-shirts that got mid thigh, she was still covered in a sheen of sweat from her run and her breathing was a bit irregular she could guess what she could look like to the average outsider, so she decided to use it to her advantage if that would get that sickly sweet lady off her door step quicker, so she reached up and tousled her hair, when Casey saw her...all he needed was one guess to imagine what she had in mind, they switched positions and Sarah swung the door open

"Aubry...hi" the other woman's eyes went wide when she turned to look at Sarah, she looked thoroughly embarrassed, like she had walkwd in on what she wasnt supposed to walk in on

"Oh...uhm...Emma hi...i see you were busy"

"Oh well..." Sarah let her sentence hang making Aubry's imagination as to what exactly she was busy with run wild

"Oh...so sorry to disturb, i just wanted to..." her words caught in her throat when she saw Casey walk up behind Sarah wearing only his pyjama bottoms

"Emma...who's...oh Aubry...hi" he moved even closer behind Sarah to greet the other woman

"Arnie...hi...i was just telling Emma why i came so early, hope you don't mind"

He smiled and held Sarah's waist from behind, she wasn't expecting it so she gasped a little which didnt exactly help their case with Aubrey

"Well...we could pick up from where we left off" Aubrey was quite flustered by that time

"I err...came by to remind you that we were leaving for the park by 9:30"

"Oh...I knew that, Becca told me yesterday"

"Oh she did?...good then...well see you by 9..bye Arnie" she shamelessly eyed up Casey's torso before slowly turning to leave but not before seeing Sarah turn slowly towards Casey and deeply kiss him before shutting the door and leaving her to wish she had an equally active sex life.

When they were safely inside and sure Aubrey had gone Sarah turned to Casey

"That. Was . Close"

"What kind of a person comes knocking on another persons door by 6am?!"

"Well...i dont think we'll be getting anymore early morning visitors"

"Huh? why?"

"Im almost too sure Aubrey would have spread news that Arnie and Emma are making their very own sex tape" Caseys eyes widened

"But that's not what's happening"

Sarah simply shrugged "Doesn't matter, to her it is"

Casey sighed as he and Walker went up the stairs

"The speed at which you women spread intel is mind baffling...but did you see the expression on her face..." He smiled "...priceless, and so worth it"

Sarah smiled "well...im going to go get ready for my outing, you can go back to doing whatever it was you were doing"

"Gun cleaning Qalker...i was gun cleaning"

"Yeah...if you say so" she smiled smugly at him

"...and Walker..."

She turned back at the head of the stairs

"...go take off my shirt" she slowly looked down at the shirt and looked seductively at Casey

"Of course Mr Raney" she then smiled and went into her room, Casey realized she wasn't as fluffy and swooney eyed as he'd originally thought.

By 9am, their house was already filled with most of their neighbors, including Ivan and his wife, Casey didn't remember him agreeing to use his house as a rendezvous point, but well it made his job a lot easier since his mark was coming to him and not the other way round, their house looked like they were having a bake sale, apparently every woman except for Walker wanted to out bake the other so there were pies of different flavors, cupcakes with different toppings and cookies that looked like intricate artwork, Anabelle finally asked Sarah why she hadn't baked anything

"Em...how come we're missing your piece on the kitchen table?"

"I was kind of busy" Aubrey wiggled her eyebrows at Sarah

"Oh I bet you were honey" her comment was followed by laughter and Sarah just smiled.

While the women got ready for their day out, the men were seated in the living room talking sports, different sports, they talked hockey for a while, then they ended up talking about hunting, most of the men had ever only dreamed of holding guns and were talkinf lustfully about it, Casey almost puked, anyway that's what happens when you enlist yourself in the platoon of 'Men in the 'Burbs', if that didn't kill you, it'd suck out the very essence of your manliness. The women were finally done preparing by 10:37 and were just about to leave, most of them hugged their goodbyes at the door but Sarah and Casey being the 'newlyweds' with assumed separation anxiety paused at the threshhold of the door and kissed for about 5 seconds, Sarah leaned affectionately on Casey's shoulder and whispered to him

"I'm going to try and squeeze Tatiana for intel at the park, and if I'm lucky, I'll get something see what you can get from Ivan"

"Yeah...ok"

"Now kiss me again, we gotta sell it" and sell it they did, he kissed her and ran his hands down her back, Anabelle cleared her throat behind them

"Err...Arnie we have to get going now so please could you release Em...we'll bring her back in one piece...scouts honor" then she did a mock salute

Sarah stepped back slowly and spared Casey a last glance before she was whisked away by the Elite Cliique

Loads of beer and baked sugar later, the men started complaining and comparing their wives, Tommy, Madison's husband started in

"You know, I'm not supposed to say anything, but Maddy is...woah...I gotta tell ya, she's put on some weight, and not in the right places, if you get my meaning" Dave, Aubrey's husband laughed at that and said

"At least you can complain about the fat, I don't even get to see the fat, can't remember the last time Aubrey and I had sex, speaking of..." He turned his attention to Casey who until now had been thinking of the best way to engage Ivan in conversation

"...Arnie, you sly dog, Aubrey told me what she saw this morning"

"This morning?...ooooh this morning..." Casey smiled when he remembered the look on Aubry's face

"Yeah...this morning, you lucky son of a bitch you"

"...well...you know, that's kinda private territory between Em and I and we kinda like to keep private private, you know?"

"Not the way Aub told it, anyway, at least 1 of us is getting some action"

Ivan who had been quiet the whole time took a swig from his bottle and said

"I beg to differ, you all might not be getting any action, but I get me some action...and then some" the men laughed and cherred them on, Dave who was on Casey's left shouted

"Ivan, Arnie, at this moment I feel it fit to deem you guys the jocks in this gathering of us lowly mortals, and now, we shall all bow..." He mock bowed "...bow men" Then they all bowed while laughing.

AN: 4th chapter inna bit...


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